Sometimes it might seem like everyone in school is talking about who’s a virgin, who isn’t,. For both girls and boys, the pressure sometimes can be intense.

But deciding whether it’s right for you to have sex is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever have to make. Each person must use his or her own judgment and decide if it’s the right time and the right person.

This means considering some very important factors both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) and emotional factors, too.

There are factors that may persuade you to lose your virginity, like peer pressure problems, movie madness, and curiosity, among others, but always have it in mind that the decision is yours to make. Always seek the necessary knowledge so that you are able to make informed and right decisions.

What matters to you as a person is the most important thing, and although your values may not match those of your friends, that’s very OK. It is what makes people unique. Having sex to impress someone or to make your friends happy or feel like you have something in common with them won’t make you feel very good about yourself in the long run. True friends don’t really care whether a person is a virgin or not, they will respect your decisions, no matter what.

Even if your friends are cool with your decision, it’s easy to be misled by TV shows and movies into thinking that every teen in America is having sex. Writers and producers may make a show or movie plot exciting by showing teens being sexually active, but these teens are actors, not real people with real concerns. They don’t have to worry about being ready for sex, how they will feel later on, or what might happen as a result. In other words, these TV and movie plots are stories, not real life. In real life, every teen can, and should, make his or her own decision.

You might have a lot of new sexual feelings or thoughts. These feelings and thoughts are totally normal. It means that all of your hormones are working properly. But sometimes your curiosity or sexual feelings can make you feel like it’s the right time to have sex, even though it may not be.

Though your body may have the ability to have sex and you may really want to satisfy your curiosity, it doesn’t mean your mind is ready. Although some teens understand how sex can affect them emotionally, many don’t and this can lead to confusion and deeply hurt feelings later.

If you find yourself feeling confused about decisions related to sex, you may need  to talk to an adult (like a parent, doctor, older sibling, aunt, or uncle) or you can download the sautiplus app and ask the sauti senga for advice. Keep in mind, though, that everyone’s opinion about sex is different. Even though another person may have useful advice to share, in the end, the decision is up to you.

But what is important to you as a teen is to abstain from sex until it’s the right time for you to engage in sexual intercourse. This will help you to do away with unwanted teenage pregnancy, STD’s and dropping out of school.

Rahmah Musa Amelia

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