Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. Is this the case when you and bae are far apart because of school or work? We all fear long distance, right? Shall we keep the sparks? Will I still trust you? How sure am I that you’re being faithful? Who will hold me when I need comfort? What happens to our sex lives?
Well, these are the questions everyone who has ever been in a long distance romance has asked themselves. So, you’re not alone. You’re also allowed to question the future and longevity of your relationship when your bae is off to a university abroad, or is posted to a job upcountry. First of all, before you consider this kind of ‘arrangement’, answer these questions silently to yourself;
1. Do I love him/her enough to make this sacrifice? (Remember you wont be getting any action…; for a while…)
2. Do I trust them? (How strong is their will to be able to turn down hits from other people after a crazy night of drinks)
3. Do I see a future with them? ( cos If you see a future with them, you will wait)
4. Are you in this together? ( Be vigilant in reading and comprehending reciprocation of energies, efforts and emotions. If they are trying as much as you are to communicate and keep the relationship alive, go for it)
After answering all those questions, allow your heart and mind hold a meeting on whether you proceed to work on your relationship, or break up mutually due to ‘distance’ . Think about it though, isn’t breaking up because of distance such a lazy and telling reason! That could mean you’re too lazy to make an effort and then you don’t trust yourself enough not to misbehave(namsayin). So before you ‘mutually break up’ because of distance, answer those questions above and make a decision.
Should your answers all be affirmative and you decide to work on your relationship, here are a few tips on how to keep the sparks flying;
Did we say communication? Yes, communication. As in, communication. Underline it for more emphasis. Call, text, video chat, email, I mean, keep all communication avenues open. Much as someone may love you, they can easily get caught up in the world, especially in this social media era. There’s lots of work, lots of options. It’s upon you to keep your presence felt by your bae even when you’re miles apart. Let them in on your day, vent to them, allow them vent to you. Listen. Counsel. Reassure.
2. Find a shared hobby that you can always catch up on I.e. chose a series to follow or a book to read so that with each call or text or video chat, y’all have what to talk about.
3. Explore different ways of pleasuring yourself. Humans are sexual beings, that’s undeniable. So in the event that you and bae are away from each other for long periods, explore ways of keeping your sexual energies alive and in sync. Sext, on chat or on video. Disclaimer; We caution you to do this with people you truly trust and people that have something to lose (revenge porn is real). This will keep both of you sexually fulfilled to reduce the chances of straying because you’ve suppressed the urge.
4. Keep busy and surround yourself with friends who will hold you accountable for you actions. Should you be seen sprinkling fire ???and eggplant ???emojis on another person’s Instagram other than your bae, they’ll keep you in check.
All this is not cast on stone, we are not professionals, just another bunch of lonely people trying to be helpful and supportive of y’all with baes overseas to cope?.
Good-luck holding each other down and stay safe!