Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. Is this the case when you and bae are far apart because of school or work? We all fear long distance, right? Shall we keep the sparks? Will I still trust you? How sure am I that you’re being faithful? Who will hold me when I need comfort? What happens to our sex lives? 

Well, these are the questions everyone who has ever been in a long distance romance has asked themselves. So, you’re not alone. You’re also allowed to question the future and longevity of your relationship when your bae is off to a university abroad, or is posted to a job upcountry. First of all, before you consider this kind of ‘arrangement’, answer these questions silently to yourself;

 

1. Do I love him/her enough to make this sacrifice? (Remember you wont be getting any action…; for a while…)

2. Do I trust them? (How strong is their will to be able to turn down hits from other people after a crazy night of drinks)

3. Do I see a future with them? ( cos If you see a future with them, you will wait)

4. Are you in this together? ( Be vigilant in reading and comprehending reciprocation of energies, efforts and emotions. If they are trying as much as you are to communicate and keep the relationship alive, go for it)

After answering all those questions, allow your heart and mind hold a meeting on whether you proceed to work on your relationship, or break up mutually due to ‘distance’ . Think about it though, isn’t breaking up because of distance such a lazy and telling reason! That could mean you’re too lazy to make an effort and then you don’t trust yourself enough not to misbehave(namsayin). So before you ‘mutually break up’ because of distance, answer those questions above and make a decision.

Should your answers all be affirmative and you decide to work on your relationship, here are a few tips on how to keep the sparks flying;

1. Communication!

Did we say communication? Yes, communication. As in, communication. Underline it for more emphasis. Call, text, video chat, email, I mean, keep all communication avenues open. Much as someone may love you, they can easily get caught up in the world, especially in this social media era. There’s lots of work, lots of options. It’s upon you to keep your presence felt by your bae even when you’re miles apart. Let them in on your day, vent to them, allow them vent to you. Listen. Counsel. Reassure.

2. Find a shared hobby that you can always catch up on I.e. chose a series to follow or a book to read so that with each call or text or video chat, y’all have what to talk about.

3. Explore different ways of pleasuring yourself. Humans are sexual beings, that’s undeniable. So in the event that you and bae are away from each other for long periods, explore ways of keeping your sexual energies alive and in sync. Sext, on chat or on video. Disclaimer; We caution you to do this with people you truly trust and people that have something to lose (revenge porn is real). This will keep both of you sexually fulfilled to reduce the chances of straying because you’ve suppressed the urge.

4. Keep busy and surround yourself with friends who will hold you accountable for you actions. Should you be seen sprinkling fire ???and eggplant ???emojis on another person’s Instagram other than your bae, they’ll keep you in check. 

All this is not cast on stone, we are not professionals, just another bunch of lonely people trying to be helpful and supportive of y’all with baes overseas to cope?. 

Good-luck holding each other down and stay safe!

 

47 Comments

  1. Baker Otuzuma

    oh it is communication & keeping oneself busy since I am doing the same to my trusted lover. I believe it is a good moment of a discussion for the youth.

  2. SAM

    I love this but kindly I would like you guys to throw more light on the different ways of pleasing yourself..

  3. Maggie.

    am in a long distance relationship but sometimes its hard for me to handle especially when he show’s me an altitude when tolking. it strees me most tymes.

  4. Rose Cotton

    Long distance relationship is not sooo good. Am in such a relationship but its too hard.. sometimes things just go upset ? anyone there to help me out with that.?? Help with a solution.

  5. Rose Cotton

    Long distance relationship is not sooo good. Am in such a relationship but its too hard.. sometimes things just go upset ? anyone there to help me out with that.?? Help with a solution.

  6. Michael ojok

    long distance relationship is good to couples who have what we call the golden rules of trust in their relationship and communication also matters a lot in long distance relationship.

  7. Michael ojok

    long distance relationship is good to couples who have what we call the golden rules of trust in their relationship and communication also matters a lot in long distance relationship.

  8. emmanuelninsiima93@gmail.com Emma Pines

    I Love the long distance relationship because it sometimes makes you do personal stuff.
    however communicating is a key to keeping you intact. And once communication is blocked then the relationship can’t go ahead.

  9. emmanuelninsiima93@gmail.com Emma Pines

    I Love the long distance relationship because it sometimes makes you do personal stuff.
    however communicating is a key to keeping you intact. And once communication is blocked then the relationship can’t go ahead.

  10. Ryan

    that’s the hardest foam of relationship,
    coz any blockage in communication system trust me not the relationship is gone

  11. Baganzi Douglas

    Have tried long distance relationship for some good time ,but nothing good have gained from it …
    so can advice it for anyone.

  12. James Ocen GUSO, RAHU peer

    long distance relationship has been like my motto for the last 3 years and am really contented with what we have, some or many frame my behaviours to be abnormal but I have invested a lot of time in building my relationship with the girl I considered the love of my life for the past 5 years. I love her and no boundaries can change what I feel for her.

  13. Obasanjo

    I recommend long distance love coz it makes you think about your personal development

  14. Joseph Ainebyona

    Been in a long distance relationship for 6 years, but communication, self trust, and team work are key

  15. Joseph Ainebyona

    Been in a long distance relationship for 6 years, but communication, self trust, and team work are key

  16. Maria Liz

    i have tried it out once but it wasn’t a success…I regret the time I wasted ,it was all in vain

  17. Maria Liz

    i have tried it out once but it wasn’t a success…I regret the time I wasted ,it was all in vain

  18. Chris Yaçh

    A long distance relationship only needs commitment by both parties. know what you want.
    I agree with the advise above it’s what keeps most long distance relationships moving and growing. communication is the most important tool in all and how you communicate matters, don’t over make the communication with timing and excitement cause the day you don’t call at that time as in exact time the trust the opposite side starts pending

  19. Ndagire Jane

    Am also in one but the above advise is really good and true, but still trust, matters alot, still on sext, be more careful if it means just online vedio without sending them please do that because porn revenge is real but very hurtful,

  20. Neonah

    Am in a long distance relationship but what matters most is the respect and trust you have towards your partner. when u respect your partner en committed to him or her, everything flows smoothly. just keep myself busy at work and doing fitness after we chat abit and i sleep, made my routine.

  21. Neonah

    Am in a long distance relationship but what matters most is the respect and trust you have towards your partner. when u respect your partner en committed to him or her, everything flows smoothly. just keep myself busy at work and doing fitness after we chat abit and i sleep, made my routine.

  22. HELLEN KAKA

    am in one and I enjoy it so much. what u must know is what the both of u share. it’s very important to keep the communication flowing and crank jobs of memories. trust me its fun yeah its true we miss each other but I trust him and am committed to God most time so I have no room for negativity

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