Sometimes It’s Not A Condom Breakage, It Is Stealthing At Play

Every once in awhile you hear that kiboozi of someone saying “I swear I saw him wear the rubber, but then I am pregnant and it’s only him I slept with.”The next time you hear any such thing, there could be an explanation; mainly the condom could have broken, or the ninja may have stealthed!

Stealthing is when a man or a woman intentionally removes or damages his or her condom without the partner knowing. Some people prefer to call it “non consensual condom removal” to make clear what the harm is.

When one removes a condom during sex – often unbeknownst to his or her partner, they are opening them up to the risk of unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

Today, we hear that stealthing has become a trend, almost at slaying status and young women are the most affected. You wonder what peeps like about it when it endangers your sexual, reproductive, mental and emotional health. It is important that you take a considerable amount of precaution. Here are a few tips of the things you can do;

What to do if you are stealthed;

• Get tested for  for both HIV and STIs as soon as it happens; first things first. You have just had unprotected sex and your health is at risk so reach out to the nearest clinic and test for both HIV and STIs.  In case of any infections, the situation will be handled early enough before it’s too late. You can find a clinic or health center near you <<by clicking here>> from a list of them here that provide free or low cost services

• Get a pregnancy test: To the ladies if you have not been on contraceptives then you are at risk of getting an unintended pregnancy.  So visit a clinic for preventive care like the “morning after pill” Check a click here you by clicking here

• See a psychologist ; when your partner removes his condom without your knowledge it is likely to have both a psychological/emotional and physical effect on you. You need to reach out to professional counselor or friend, share you experience and be counselled on the next step forward. Don not die in silence, a problem shared is half solved! Naguru teenage Center has some of the best shrinks in town check out their contacts here

• Straighten up things with bae; after such a display of betrayal of trust, natural instinct tells you to cut this person out of your life because you are angry (you have all the right to be mad) but two wrongs can’t make a right. Call them out, let them know that what they did was wrong and explain the possible consequences their act could have on both your lives.  It is important to tell them that Stealthing changes the conditions in which you agreed to have sex and is a violation of your personal freedom over your body, it endangers your sexual, reproductive, mental and emotional health.

To the victims Stealthing is a form of sex assault and the perpetrators should be punished, however this is not recognized by the law. So it is upon us to beware of the people we surrender our bodies to. Let’s keep guard.  

Sex (some say making love) should be a consensual agreement between two people. This simply means that you and your partner decide what things you are comfortable doing when having sex; part of that may be using a condom. By removing the condom without their knowledge, you are not only changing the terms in which they agreed to have sex with you, you are violating your partner’s trust and this is straight up wrong.