When you hala at a kyana asking for some and she smiles, does that mean consent?

Let us begin off by saying that a woman’s body is hers, therefore she has all the right to decide what happens to it. If she decides to go nokombya or togikwatako(not to offer sex), bro, you need to respect that. No wahala there are always better days. 

Nothing less than or seems like consent is ‘consent’ 

Let’s break down what consent is. It is simply – ‘saying yes’. Agreeing to whatever is about to happen, explicitly. Saying yes when you mean it is easier for everyone involved in the intimate process, and vice versa – saying no when you mean so. 

Confusion in translation can lead to a lot of crossed wires. This is part of the reason why sometimes dudes cannot get that no means no, even when it does. Especially when it does. It can be scary to say no to someone, just as it can be to say yes. Saying yes as much as saying no comes with consequences. To some people, (especially those who aren’t used to hearing no), it can have negative ones if the communication is misconstrued. 

Ladies opening up that they want sex still gets many men wowed, regardless of the fact that ladies want and enjoy sex just as much as men do, or even more. However, it’s easier and safer for everyone if men and women say what they want, and agree to it – explicitly. Now that you have understood the basic concept of consent, you need to understand that consent can be withdrawn at any point regardless of whether you were already getting the groove on or not.  You can tap out at any time if you feel uncomfortable. 

Take an instance, say you are enjoying parte after parte with pals and you see a hot dude. You talk for a little bit, have a great kb and spend the whole night getting to know each other. You decide that you want to do more than talking, and so you find a bedroom to kukyigala (have sex). Getting there you realise that he does not have a condom or that he is overly aggressive than expected. When you choose to opt-out, that decision needs to be respected. 

2 Comments

  1. @Kamal

    Yaap
    Ladies should also be very assertive when saying NO , they must have high bargaining powers because tend to strongly convince which make girls artificially accept
    But again I have also see men giving consent just because they far shame of being told powerless so even when they aren’t in sexual moods end up accepting to have sex

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