Is having sex really making love?

In hostel clicks and cocoons, you will hear a jamma saying, “Man we had it going down last night, I made love to her all night.” But what does this really mean?  Is it possible to have sex without making love or is it also possible to make love while having sex?

First off, before we delve into sex and making love, maybe you have been battling with these two. In a sense that you feel your partner is having sex with you but you are ideally not making love to you. This might be the case and on many occasions, the other partner does not recognise that this is an issue.

Well, it is true that you can have sex with someone without making love to them. It is so because sex comes as a natural response towards arousal. It is in most instances there to feed an urgent desire.  An erection can lead to sex. This simply means that a man’s penis is up and it simply wants to penetrate.

On penetration, however, it is not a guarantee that this urgent need to bang is matched with a proper ambience for making love.

A friend in your circles could have broken up or is struggling through their relationship and the reason cannot be properly explained. Even the two partners cannot. But most of such scenarios stem from these two. These ought to be addressed.

Maybe you have heard of the phrase “morning glow” as often directed to girls or women. There is a notion associated with sex that when a girl or woman was satisfactorily made love to the previous night, that’s when the so-called morning glow manifests. It is an indicator that she was fully and actively engaged in the process that she loved.

It should be agreed between partners therefore that sex should not just be penetration. Making love becomes inevitable in most times when you are having sex with someone you love are truly sexually attracted to them. When the person (either male or female) takes time to fully utilise their partner’s body while having sex, that is making love.

You should avoid being selfish while having sex, then make love.